No poo, sex or body hair please
You see, even now, in the most modern of social groups, women cracking jokes about poo, body hair and even sex – will still lead to the loveliest of men wrinkling their noses and asking them to stop, whilst reluctantly laughing, in spite of themselves.
I know this because I am often the one making those scatological jokes and causing offence all round – especially in my university group of friends.
“Barnett! You can’t say that,” my male friends routinely roar. But when they say something equally as vile about their tuneful windpipe or overshare the details of a story-worthy sexual encounter, we all fall about laughing and no one is admonished.
I have seen this reaction time and time again from men – as I rarely just hang out in all-female groups where this kind of sharing is par for the course. And it all comes back to the same thing: shame.
Women are supposed to be ashamed of talking about wanting to have sex, needing to defecate and pretty much any other bodily function/natural desire that would have been considered unseemly for women to admit to just a few decades ago.
Why else then is it so shocking when women speak openly about these things? Because it’s still ‘other’ and not the ‘done thing’.
Check out the silver screen
I mean for god’s sake it took a full 12 years for a female actress to properly soil herself in a major movie - until the 2011 comedy hit, Bridesmaids came along, after S***break did it so spectacularly in 1999 teen sex comedy film American Pie.
When S***break pooed his pants, it was still disgusting (like it was when most of the Bridesmaids’ cast went for it) but a boy having bowel trouble on screen, wasn’t seen as breaking a taboo in quite the same way.
Yes, I like most others, have days where my Englishness creeps up on me, and I yearn for society – men and women – to be a bit less open about EVERYTHING. But then I quickly remember that the opening up of those floodgates also led to me, as a woman, no longer requiring a chaperone, a corset or a hat for every occasion (although incidentally I happen to be a major hat fan).
Ah ‘shame’ – it’s a funny and very cruel one. Despite all of the West’s progress in the gender equality stakes – it’s a feeling almost uniquely reserved for women.
I am not saying men never feel it – of course they do. But it’s rarely used as a weapon against them in quite the same way.
A hacker dealing in shame
However, shame is the exact currency the anonymous hacker who has reportedly managed to gain access to private nude photos of the Oscar-winning actress Jennifer Lawrence and 100 other top celebrities, is trading in with this horrible leak.
Jennifer Lawrence
More than 100 A-list celebrities are alleged to have been targeted, including reality TV star Kim Kardashian, singer Rihanna, models Candice Swanepoel, Cara Delevingne and Kelly Brook, and TV host Cat Deeley.
Notice anything about that list? So far, so female.
The hacker is hoping that these photos, which were very private, will make these women feel embarrassed, humiliated – but ultimately shamed, for enjoying themselves so much that they have naked photos to prove it. Where are the matching nude photos of the men they are having fun with?
The hacker also knows that it is shame which will fuel the sharing of these images – ensuring they go viral.
As the Final Destination actress Mary E. Winstead tweeted , when she confirmed she too had been a victim of the hacker: “To those of you looking at photos I took with my husband years ago in the privacy of our home, hope you feel great about yourselves.”
Even our private lives are now open to a spot of shaming
While it’s bad enough that a woman can never be allowed to forget her public past in this digital age (a point I will return to shortly), it now seems the internet and all of its brilliant cloud storage systems for our most personal data, has created a situation in which women can have their private lives used against them too – by total strangers.
Take two X Factor stories in today’s Sun. In one, we are informed that contestant, Scarlett Mae Quinn, allegedly used to work as a £600-an-hour stripper – obviously accompanied by an old picture of her wearing very little.
In another, we are treated to a topless photo (naturally the woman’s boobs are blocked out with two tasteful X Factor logos) of the wife of Jay James, another X-Factor star in the making . Victoria Picton, who appeared briefly in Saturday’s show, supporting her husband and holding their child, apparently worked as a “glamour girl” – but has now “reinvented herself as a TV presenter and removed pornographic pics from the web”. I bet she's thrilled that a national newspaper has found 'em again.
Yes, unlike Jennifer Lawrence, these images are in the public domain and you can argue that at least one of these women, has put herself forward into the limelight – therefore such scrutiny will follow.
However, these are still two examples of shaming women for a sexual past. That is the feeling these stories are designed to provoke all round.
In the case of these unfortunate female A-listers, who have had some of their most intimate photos leaked, they didn't strike these sexual poses for the world to see – so someone decided to seek them out anyway, and publish them as if they had.
The only thing that’s left for these women to do, or any other women in such unfortunate circumstances – as growing numbers are with the rise of revenge porn – is to try and own the situation, in the best way for them. (Shaunna Lane, a 22 year-old, is a shining example ).
Silence sadly only makes shame, often where there is none, seem real and allows it to grow. So to Jennifer Lawrence et al I say this: crack a joke if you possibly can – but most of all, please don’t let ‘the shame’ own and define you. Too many women do and the world is all the poorer for your hush.
Source: Top Stories - Google News - http://ift.tt/1nrjTcG
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